There is no sexual expression that is “normal.”
Western culture, and specifically the field of psychotherapy, has historically pathologized any sex that deviates from an arbitrary norm that we’ve come to accept as “normal” simply because it is most expressed in media and porn.
There are sex acts that may be more common or typical, but not because they are right or good, it’s simply because we live in a culture that values only ONE very specific type of sex- heteronormative reproductive intercourse between a man and a woman who are in a monogamous relationship and usually plan to have children.
We have largely been taught that sex within very specific boundaries is the only type of sex that is OK…
That using toys, group sex, queer sex, or engaging in kink is wrong, pathological, destructive, or immoral.
In many states, it is still technically illegal to practice anal or oral sex!
Any type of sex between consenting adults is normal, healthy, right, and good.
Pleasure is our birthright however consenting adults experience it. Pleasure is beautiful. We have a right to seek out whatever feels satisfying and fulfilling to ourselves, despite what society or culture might tell us about those things. Your fantasies and what arouses you does not imply pathology, unresolved trauma, or mental health issues.
There are very few places in the world where sexual freedom is available.
Let’s work on observing and becoming aware of the cultural scripts and narratives that stop us from claiming this human right that so many people in the world do not have access to.